Improving Sentences in an Essay

What is the best way to revise the last sentence?

Read the sentences from a student's essay about "The Treasure of Lemon Brown." In this story, Lemon Brown made a great impact on Greg by showing him the value of the bond between fathers and sons. Greg then appreciates his own father better, despite his father's shortcomings.

O replace "Greg then" with "In conclusion, Greg"
O replace "Greg then" with "Therefore, Greg"
O replace "Greg then" with "Consequently, Greg"
O replace "Greg then" with "So, Greg"

Answer:

Consequently, Greg

The best way to revise the last sentence in the student's essay about "The Treasure of Lemon Brown" is to replace "Greg then" with "Consequently, Greg." This choice provides a clear and logical transition to the conclusion of the essay, summarizing the impact of Lemon Brown on Greg and emphasizing the lesson learned about the bond between fathers and sons.

By using "Consequently," the writer signals that Greg's newfound appreciation for his father is a direct result of the influence of Lemon Brown, tying together the themes of the story and the character development of Greg.

Overall, this revision improves the coherence and flow of the essay, ensuring that the reader understands the significance of the relationship between Greg and Lemon Brown in the context of the broader narrative.

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